seth.

Yesterday Africa called. Well, Seth did. It was an unexpected call, as we typically set up times to meet up on the phone lines. It was a needed conversation. I needed to be able to talk some stuff out, I needed to be asked how I was doing- and when I said ok, asked again, "No really. How's it going?". I needed the respite from just a heavy day.

My mind is running in absolute circles. I am not on a hamster wheel, I'm on something much more like a Ferris wheel. It feels that big, and that scary from the top. It feels old and rickety like it hadn't been inspected in a while. The ride down provides moments of peace from a tumultuous ride up, and sometimes I'm able to appreciate the view.

I am not one for Christian radio. Not really. Not much anymore. However, sometimes I will find my way to the station when surfing the options and I will listen there for a little while.

Today I was running into Chik fil A to grab lunch, which in it of itself was random and a song came on the radio. A song I did not know captured my attention, (blessings: Laura Story)

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

I listened and sat and started googling lines of the song to locate the rest of them that I had missed. While I ate my lunch I thought about the raindrops, the tears, the endless sleepless nights that I have battled through more and more as of late and I was able to muster the gratitude necessary to alleviate the burden. To release the pressure, the weight, the unknown.

Before getting off the phone Seth last night, he mentioned that he had updated his blog and that I should read it. In my head I thought, "I always read it.", and yes the voice in my head had a bit of a sassy attitude. Towards the end after his pictures and his update he had written a few things in closing.

Please pray for the continued well being of the patients and crew. And please pray that the Lord showers us with good surgical candidates this week--seriously, we need it!!

Kari Ann, keep on keeping on in this season of your life! Let the Lord carry you: Exodus 14:14.

Again, thanks for reading.

If you ever wonder if your words matter, or what you have to say counts in the distance- please know that they do. Emails just to say hello, voice mails just wanting to connect, postcards to contribute to the story matter. Always. To be mentioned in the midst of Seth's African Adventure Blog, in one sentence spoke truth the battle my heart has been waging, much more then I think he was even aware as he wrote it.

This is a season for sure. 8 years ago this summer I was participating in a bible study with my summer staff friends, and we each shared our testimonies. In it, we selected a favorite verse we felt part of what God has taught us. I selected Exodus 14:14. "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." I have whispered it to myself in overwhelming moments, and in dark periods... that line of scripture has been the articulated plea countless time to the Father. It is incredibly special and poignant to me, and could be dedicated its very own blog entry.

8 years later, at the random selection of someone so far away I was reminded that yes. The season, the fight, the work, the waiting, all matters- but that to be still in it, be grateful for it, and to be vulnerable before the Lord is what will change everything.

Sometimes a simple sentence can really change a view, perspective, moment. Thankful for Seth who is so far away, but yet is still so active and present in the everyday of life. The good, the bad, the hard, the frustrating- and is helping this girl in Virginia to continue to dream big for her future... maybe even one in Africa too this fall.

Pray for Seth! He is building community, impacting those he serves with daily, trying to help a blinded nation, and growing in his own walk with the Lord in each step. He's a favorite in life, and is dearly missed!