For days now I have thought about one family nonstop. With the diagnosis of cancer they began a blog in which they are sharing their story. I have read every entry, and I have cried in the vulnerability in which Libby details her processing of diagnosis, and in her husband Justin's brave account of his deep profound love for his bride. Together they are banding together and they are going to fight. They have described how they have already been changed. How nothing will ever be the same. How grateful they already are for the way their love for each other sharpened, deepened and intensified.
They are brave. They have a 6 month old daughter who will not remember this time in which her mother was superwoman in fighting cancer. She will not know the several tears and prayers raised for her parents to triumph. I think she knows already what matters most. She knows loves. Love knows no age. Love is speechless and often silent.
I am not close to this young married couple. But we love many of the same people. Our stories are woven through others, and now my heart prays for them daily. For strength. For peace. For sheer will in determination. For grace. For long walks on the beach together. For holding hands. For laughs in the stillness of night in storytelling. For a long future together. For Jesus to be in their words, actions, thoughts, and dreams as they will be a light to every person treating Libby.
It's amazing to read comments being left on their blog and to see the crowd of witnesses walking with them and how community as Christ intended it is living right now in this situation. It is already making such a huge impact. God is so awesome.
She writes in the opening page of the blog,
"i was thankful this was all happening now and not in 60 years when we were older and had missed out on loving Jesus this much, or each other this much, and everyone around this much. since we never saw this one coming. i guess that is what you sign up for when you decide to give your life...we are talking your life here...to Jesus Christ. it means trusting him with everything. i thought i did though. but now i know that i didn't. i mean i did a little. but not like i do now. this is our story and since we are not writing it, God is...we have to trust that he wanted this part to be in ours."
I have thought about 'this much' for days.
I have thought about my trust in God.
Do I trust Him with everything?
Every last minute, thought, purpose, and relationship?
Did I really seek Him when I wasn't sure?
Do I believe He loves me in each and every breath?
Do I surrender not just when I think it matters, but in every.single.moment?
If I am not, what is it going to take? What am I waiting for?
As I read Libby's account of their day to day experience, in the midst of having a diagnosis for only a week I have prayed that my heart would be open to loving Jesus more then I think is possible, and that I would continue to surrender the wicked mind games my head plays, and remember...
that Love.
this much.
is worth it, when He is the center.
Jesus stretched out His arms wide, and gave His life for us because His love knew no other way. He loves us 'this much'.
This summer has been some intense periods of rain, some abundance of sunshine, and a whole lot of Jesus. I liken it to driving through the rain, sometimes its so hard you can't see the road, and you get mad at trucks that kick up puddles. Yet, there comes a moment in that rainstorm that you can see the other side of those clouds dispersing their precipitation. You can see the blue sky. You know that the rain is going to break. You believe it because you can see it. You sigh a deep sense of relief because the rain was so intense and so treacherous.
Then... there's nothing but sunshine.
Tonight I pray that Justin and Libby in the midst of this rain storm of life, will continue to trust and believe that the other side of these clouds is there. They can't see it yet, but Christ does, and His will and power is unlike anything we can experience on earth: even the most terrifying torrential downpour.
Rain saturates the earth.
Flowers grow.
Gardens flourish.
His story and love is beautiful.
It's never too late to sow soil that is nourished in His love.
What will I choose to plant? What will I ask Him to restore?
Will I place my hope and trust in Him more then I did a second ago?
My prayer continues to be that I could live to love Him and those He has blessed me with, this much... now. Not later. Not when its more convenient. Not when I think its going to be easier. Not half way. Now. In pouring rain, or in sunshine. It's you. It's me. It's going to be built on and be completely about Jesus.
If you are interested in reading a tremendous story of love, Jesus, family, prayer, and truth check out, and please include this precious family in your prayers:
You will not be sorry.
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