If you are reading this... you have been cautiously and intentionally invited.
Welcome.
So we are switching some gears on this blog front that I have had a relationship with now for three years. Making some changes.
First one: by invitation only. I am learning a ton about boundaries, breakups, and letting go right now, and the first step for me is to make this a completely safe and free place. I have grown a TON in writing, and I don't write for anyone but me... but the fact I know some friends keep up with me this way is comforting, and at this particular moment I want to be able to write exactly what I am thinking, feeling, and learning, and I do not want to have to edit.
So... to begin: Today sucks. Actually. It doesn't suck as much as its just hard. I am currently in Vegas, wrapping up this two week epic adventure with my sister Krystal. It's been intense, wonderful, fun, funny, deep, and insightful. I have loved each and every part almost equally- though I do have some favorites, I can't help it.
In the next few days I plan to per typical format upload some pictures and tell some stories.
But in this one blog entry which sets the stage in freedom in a way I've not been able to explore previously- I am asking for one thing.
For you to pray. I am about to embark on a very difficult journey post breaking up with Tex the relationship, and now am entering into the break away from Tex the best friendship. I am scared, and I am sad, but I am sure- and because I know and love Jesus I know with Him, I am prepared. There is no need to panic beyond what is necessary, or freak out about plans in the future I do not know or cannot control. Today is Today. And Today I need boundaries, silence, and I need to be able to explore my heart without apologizing for the way I feel, or to hide and pretend that what I feel does not matter.
I am sad. I am hurting.
I am hopeful. And I will triumph.
But today... we are who we are in this moment without mistaking it for anything else. I am grieving, and I feel lost. However, I feel enormously loved because my hands are open, my heart broken open wide, and I have seen and felt love everywhere.
You are part of that.
Thank you for the texts today, the phone calls that I got to cry and be real with (Matty and Hayden, thank you for being so amazing).
The cast of life is still the same, just reorganizing the lead roles. Thankful that I have with me those who have been with me in my life for a tremendously long part of this entire journey, and I am sure that each day will show a new aspect of hurt, but also grace.
Jesus is here. Love is here.
You have been invited to be part of what I write.
LOVE.LOVE.
K
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