Defying Gravity

I am kind of all over the place. For the most part I have clicked through images and day dreamed. I am in the process of planning a very packed 12 days on the West Coast. What was going to be a weekend in Vegas has turned into an epic adventure. I have made some important decisions about what I am going to do, and who I am going to see. I have priced it out a dozen different ways trying to figure out the most economical. I think I have settled on a plan. I begin in Vegas with the most delightful assortment of women. It will be so different in comparison to other times out there. The combination of sisters is euphoric, and I'm delighted. They all return back to the East, and I will head West.

First stop? Bakersfield. I am returning after three years, and I cannot wait. I wasn't going to do this portion, and I was going to put it off entirely... but the fact is I miss it. Last Monday I thought about it, and I realized that I'm not going searching for a ghost, but I'm going connecting with life... and that is by visiting Candice and Felicia (below).

Then I will come and place my feet on this railing and I will be still... I will be quiet. I will probably write a little. Read a little. I know that I will mostly just watch the water in its rhythmic motion and I will pray. I cannot wait for this afternoon.

After that I am seeing and doing some new things for which I'm really excited about. They range from visiting the Hearst Castle, the 17 mile highway of beauty leading into Monterey, and a quick peek into Napa.

I finish in the city I always claimed to be my future home. I was there three years ago exactly as I arrive.


I have been mildly obsessed with Wicked all summer. I saw it in May and just fell in love with it. There is a song in it called "Defying Gravity". At a particular point Elphaba sings to Glinda,

"Too late for second guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try

Defying Gravity

I think I'll try

Defying Gravity

And you can't pull me down...

I'm through accepting limits

'Cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost...

So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky!

As someone told me lately:

everyone deserves a chance to fly

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me

Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am

Defying gravity..."

It seems only fitting that after this summer I end on the opposite coast it began. I started the summer season in Connecticut with a day in NYC in which I felt content in my environment, and I saw a show I most wanted to see- it was a brief respite in chaos. Since then the lyrics of this particular song have been with me, and I just get it. And so... I will close my time on the West Coast, and bid adieu to summer with Wicked in San Francisco. I like bookends. I like neat packages of experiences. This is going to be such a stellar time, that I expect some intense jealousy to ensue. I will send postcards, I promise. And I will be constantly looking in crowds for 2 faces. It's true.

I return home hopefully to some job interviews, as the application process has been slow and arduous. It will be a jam packed time away, but I know that before employment begins I should utilize the days I have without taking time off for vacation. I'm excited. It's bittersweet, and it will have moments that I know I will wish it were different. But I'm excited and I am sure. So all day... been day dreaming and praying about the time away and that the Lord would use it and that I could celebrate a FULL life, celebrate 5 years of missing and loving Bill, and that with my hand catching the wind out of the window as I drive- I will get to watch the sunset over my favorite ocean... and I will continue to defy gravity.

Life in flight continues.