Today

We got back on Friday night, I walked in the door at 2am Saturday morning and found myself awake for about an hour unable to calm down, or understand the time difference. I have opened this page three times, attempting to write an update on life, a synopsis of the trip, or to ramble about the 55 things I have running through my mind and heart at the moment. Not being sure of how to do any of those things well, I have closed the blog and left it unwritten. 

I am now sitting on the couch, looking out at the of the fall covered hills beyond the trees that once masked the view with their green leaves. I have successfully been able to do two things on the list for the day: 1) Grocery shopped, and 2) The Dishes. The laundry, and other housekeeping necessities remain on the task list for the day, I have tried to assure myself that they will get done, I can take a moment and sit. 

Gracie is at The Vet. She is being tested for some things, and I will be honest- when I dropped her off today I teared up on the way to my car. I am thankful that where I boarded her last week took such great care of her that they noticed her "drinking" problem, which could be linked to a short list of diseases. She is an emotional sap (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, or so I've heard), and when we went inside the office this morning she jumped up on my shoulders and started shaking. She was scared, and where did she go? Up on top of me for comfort. Perhaps that is what pulled at my heart and began the tears. I am sure she is going to be fine... but fear and being scared are real- and I'm scared that she won't be. I wish there had been someone there that I could turn around to, put my arms on their shoulders and find comfort for my fear. 

Otherwise, I'm doing well. Tonight is BSF, and tomorrow is my Birthday. I love Birthday's...not just mine- every one's. I got my first wish of a happy day, so I suppose in a small way the celebration has begun today. Yay.