"As long as I can remember, For all my spirits days, All of my journeys have been roads home to You."

3.02.2008

Jesus, I Come

Church. I really enjoyed the service and sermon, but there were two moments that made me catch my breath and sent a wave of emotion and thought through my heart.

One was while receiving Communion, on my left was one of my friends and we were waiting in a row for our Pastor to come to us and give us the Bread. I opened my hands and listened to what he said as a blessing in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". He spoke the scripture and I looked up at him and something just struck me about it, and listened to him speak to the man on my right wondering if he would say the same thing. He didn't. What I heard in the message of scripture was not just that love would lay their life down for their friend, what struck me was that I have spent so much time and energy recently focusing on Christ as GOD, this vehicle of divinity so much greater and more substantial than myself, that I had almost missed the simple conversation between friends. I have been praying for answers about my future and what I should be doing, and I have been seeking Christ with fervor and vulnerability.... and yet what I needed today was to feel the presence of the Lord beside me, walking hand in hand with me... much like I allow my friends into my heart. 

Hearing the scripture, receiving Communion, and paying attention to the meaning behind it all I looked up at my friend and saw this person that I have allowed into my life in a vulnerable way in conversation, and just by sharing my life in our friendship. I have fought him on different levels along the way, but I trust his opinion and point of view without hesitation. Why do I do this? Because I know that he has my best interest in mind, in our friendship he has shown self sacrifice, compassion, and because he loves Jesus I see this patience and care in the way he serves me in our friendship with abundance. 

Pairing the message found in the moment I was grateful for the real life example of a great friend in my life standing beside me, and I accepted the Bread knowing that it was from and because of the greatest friend I've ever known gave His life for mine. The relationship I have with Christ should always be more then  a "seek and find", I seek you to show me the way to go, I seek you to send me the plan, or I seek you to make life easier. Instead I should continue to focus to Lord, I find you in the quiet moments of prayer, I find you when I extend my heart and find yours, I find you when I trust you, I find you when I allow myself to open up to you like we are meeting for Coffee, and I find you when I lay my life down for yours because there is no greater love I can exhibit to you that matters.

My second moment came in the worship song 'Jesus, I Come' in the small part below:

Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair, into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Getting myself out of my mind and into the purpose of what the Lord would have for me is only going to happen when 'I come to Thee'. So this morning I sat in my chair trying to scribble some of the words down in my journal and was touched deeply by the sound of the phrase, the meaning behind the lyric of "out of myself to dwell in Thy love".

Seeking to remember that in my relationship with Christ, to remember him as approachable as the best friend I'll ever have, and to go to Jesus, out of myself...just go to Thee. The rest will make sense later, just find the first things first. 


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