Where I Stood

I have woken up to this song every morning for two weeks. It haunts me during the day, and I catch myself humming it to myself when I'm in one of the offices here at work alone. I can't escape it, and I honestly try not to play it obsessively on the iPod. While a break up song, it is completely me of this moment. Some of the lyrics are below.

I keep thinking about the very large steps I'm making forward- and I keep finding myself submersed in moments in which my heart is full and unable to grasp how to articulate the impending changes. I imagine myself sitting across from a friend and speaking the first part of the song, and I imagine my tears and I can sense that my heart starts to scream in the silence of trying to talk... so instead I remain quiet.

I wake up to this song in my head every morning, and I think about it during the day. Perhaps it is the most recent addition to the life anthems I have attached myself to over the years. I could break down each line and verse and tell you what I think of, and what it means to me- but I'm just not ready. So instead, if you happen to catch it on XM, or if you download it just to listen to it and hear where I'm at... know that this song haunts me and I just can't remove the melody and the meaning out of my head.


Where I Stood
Missy Higgins

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do