Care and Share

What's up?

It is Wednesday, I am half way through the week and I am delighted. I am fresh back from the OH/KY weekend excursion, and I am glad to be back in my own bed and house. I was describing to a friend why those relationships in KY/OH are important to me, and its hard to relate to somehow how those that I have never lived in the same town with could be so close. We work really hard at being in touch, at being real, writing letters, phone calls every week, and visiting. They are part of my support system, they are part of my family, and I love that despite distance I am blessed by their friendship.

Tonight I have small group, and I'm in charge of snacks and a share and care item. I have selected Dunkin Donut Munchkins as my snack, which is joyful b/c I love them- but also kind of sad because I wasn't able to make something from my own kitchen. DD is just as good I say, so I'm not feeling bad about not hand crafting a delectable treat. My share care? How do you pick one thing to show who you are, and what you are about? I have gone back and forth on what I would like to bring, and finally decided on a photo. I thought at first I would chose just one. Well, how do you select one out of 12,000? (literally). I printed off four.

1) Gracie. My favorite picture of my buttercup puppy.
2) The Mountain, that Matty has titled "Hey Jesus". It was also the first photo I sold... and so there is great significance there.
3) The Bench. I am going to be on my beloved pier on Sunday, and I will be sitting here for a moment. It was the place I was able to write, think, and pray and stare off into the wide open Pacific in August last year, and it was the place I wanted most to be in April before starting the new job. Right now? I want that bench. But the greatest movement is that on Sunday, I will be with two of my best friends- and that bench will no longer live in my memory and be isolated in my heart. I will share it. We will sit... for five minutes... and then we will leave.
4) The Flower. It was the first photo that I took, that I paused for a second and thought "you have a gift... why aren't you doing this with your life?"In the current state of thought, and anxiety I think of that flower photo, and in it I find possibility, and the stirring that comes with passion of heart.

That's the latest. This week has been busy, full of bible studies, house dinners, small groups, meetings, and commitments. I do it to myself, but there is comfort knowing that this week, there was not one thing that I could say no to. Things continue to move along, and I have a thousand questions. I'm learning some important things, and I'm finding my prayers for increased depth of sight to be answered in continuing to see how broken I am, and how my need for a Savior is so much bigger then I often let myself feel.

Million Raindrops

Can I feel the sun
Breaking through the gray I’m lost within
Can I hear the wind
Like a secret telling me I’ll live again
I need you

All your thoughts let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground I’m standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father’s kiss
That all my life I’ve waited on

Can I walk the line
Tell me will you be my safety net
Can you save a life
Tangled up in weakness and regret
I know you can

All your thoughts let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground I’m standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father’s kiss
That all my life I’ve waited on

I’m crying out to you, I’m crying out to you
There’s nothing left to lose, there’s nothing left to prove
I’m crying out to you, I’m crying out to you

All your thoughts let them fall
Like a million raindrops
On this desolate ground I’m standing on
Every word from your lips
Like a father’s kiss
That all my life I’ve waited on

~Bebo Norman

Pull Me Out & Ruins

"tell me now, when does this feeling start
like I understand everything I’m dealing with
first I was young, now it’s all just happening
and what about the way I said that
made you turn around and shake your head
like I don’t even know what I’m asking for

this could be all about just letting go
this could be all about just holding on

I can’t get my feet off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out, yeah
I wanna scream but there’s no sound
I wanna fly to you somehow
can you reach me here and pull me out, can you pull me out

remember when I was young and hungry,
I could take it in, without much money,
I had nothing at all but dreams and time to kill
and now I feel like I’m treading water
and I’m hardly real - I’m just trying harder
to make my way on the earth by standing still"

I am hanging out in my favorite bookstore in Lexington (KY), grabbing an hour to myself to write a few emails and write. I drove from Cincinnati today to Lexington, KY. I completed some errands I had lingering, and I went about my life here like I owned this city. I am now sitting here at a large round table looking out at a huge water fountain, just thinking about this place... this week... today.

I had a few versions of what today was going to look like, and  possible plans. A few things got tweaked here and there, somethings completely got nixed, and now I'm just trying to be content with the plans at hand. At 7pm Laura and Shannon will walk in here and we will smile, hug, and share a meal together. After that, Laura, Michael, and I will be heading towards Louisville to meet up with Seth and Julie for a weekend of fun at the Berg house. 

The above lyrics are from a song I listened to about a dozen times in the car on my way here. I think it could have been written from my journals, and letters I have written to those that I love. In the midst of choices, plans, and dreams... I have felt my feet stuck on the ground. My body and my schedule have been running separate- I've been running so fast, and I have been thinking so hard... that I think in some ways I seek for a hand to reach out to me, and pull me out.

The song below another song that I alternated between the one above. 

I have a lot to say. I feel like I have been bottling up some ideas in order to guard my heart and protect those that desire knowing. I started talking the other day. Wednesday morning I shared a little snippet of what I'm thinking about. It was so small that it surprised me, when in the absence of the silence I was keeping, I felt a gaping hole wanting to gush with everything else. Instead of continuing the release, I found myself staring out the window and shifting around in the chair trying to get situated. I could only laugh when my friend noticed how uncomfortable I was. I left remaining that way, and I left stirred... I also left met where I was at, heard, and understood in the silences I maintained where only tears could speak. I think perhaps the tears were the loudest and truest things that I conveyed in the hour of conversation. I also left knowing that at the end of a 6 hour car ride I would be rewarded with the company of another great friend... and that was going to be fabulous.

I wrote today a note to someone important about the very familiar notion of emptying ourselves to be filled more of Christ. I'd like to think this is something that by sharing, and encouraging someone else towards that pursuit, I too will be able to continue purging my every sinful thought and selfish notion from my heart on the ground, and allowing Christ to be more of me. Allowing something more beautiful to be built on the ruins.  

I am still working it out in my head. Slowing creeping closer to the edge I have in plain sight, its right there... and I'm getting ready to jump... I have caught myself leaning back and beginning the unstoppable force of the running start before the complete surrender into the air... 

"Laying flat upon my back,
All the world in motion
Everything goes by so fast
I feel like I’m frozen

After all is said and done
Did I fail to mention
Everything I haven’t done
All my good intentions

This is my holy hour, this is my world on fire
This is my desperate play, this is where I am saved

I’ve no fear of height or depth
I’ve no fear of crashing
The single thing I fear the most
Simply feeling nothing

This is my holy hour, this is my world on fire
This is my desperate play, this is where I am made
This is my kingdom come, this is my freedom song
This is my helpless state, this is where I am saved

Let my ruins become the ground you build upon
Let my ruins become the start
Let my ruins become the ground you build it on
From what’s left of my broken heart"

Amanda Stegman

I am in Cincinnati, Ohio. I am here visiting Amanda Stegman and seeing her beloved stomping grounds. I have been hosted well with great restaurants, conversation, and just comfortable silent moments in the car. 

My favorite thing about being here, is the deep peace within knowing that she is exactly where she is supposed to be. I didn't want her moving out of the house and away from Virginia, and I wished for her to stay... even trying bargaining techniques which never worked. I understood her reasons then for feeling like it was the way in which she was supposed to go, but it still hurt. 

For the past day or so, it hasn't hurt. Being with her is like it always used to be, even before she lived in the house for a year. We talk, we laugh, we shop, we eat out, and we indulge ourselves in our favorite television programming... its fantastic.

What is different, is that as people, we are. Our friendship has matured, changed, been challenged, and grown in the past three years and I wouldn't imagine it any other way. When in the Apple store today a lady she works with asked if we were sisters, and we both giggled, and said no 'friends' but like sisters... because we are.

I just like her a lot. And I'm glad the feeling is mutual. 

The Edge

I am standing on the edge, and for awhile I thought that I was moving along toward something specific: an opportunity, a change, a person, a moment, a moving box.... I think what I am finally able to see is that the edge that I have been drawn closer to, is not defined by any of those things. 

I have had quite a year. I have said recently, "you ever wish you could just start over?". The last time I spoke that sentiment out loud I was met with a very sincere, "No".  You see, in the highs and lows of the past 10 months... the teeter totter of emotion and uncertainty has lent itself for one of the greatest experiences I have ever had. I know that despite my inclination to want to start fresh, or to go back, I would never actually choose it. 

The Lord has brought me to the edge. He has pushed me, He has challenged me, He has watched me walk backwards, and He has held my hand as I have sprinted straight ahead. The control I have illusions of maintaining have gone from complete release to white knuckles gripping desperately and fervently. I am still learning to Let Go. 

The fall colors always captivate my heart. I can't help but get lost in the oranges, the reds, and the greens hidden deep in the trees. My birthday is in a few weeks, which lends to the reflection process that has begun in my mind. I tend to go a little crazy during this time of year... so to combat all that runs rampant in my heart and spirit I have prayed that the Lord would continue to open my heart up to tears that want to fall, people that want to catch me, and the spirit inside of my soul that wants to dance. 

The Edge? It is not the people, it is not the possibility of a moving box, it is not a change, or an opportunity. It is the awareness of growth in my vision, the part of my sight that has not been able to see past my own step in the journey. It is where I can see my touch ends, my voice fades. Instead I can sense my Father completing my uncertain footing, and I can hear His voice calling me. 

"I was blinded by my sin,

Had no ears to hear your voice,

Did not know your love within...

Help me now to live a life

That's dependent on your Grace,

Keep my heart and guard my soul,

From the evils that I face.

You are worthy to be praised,

with my every thought and deed.

O Great God of highest heav'n

glorify your name through me."

Small Moment

I am having a small town moment. I am sitting in the Daily Grind coffee shop in downtown Lexington, responding to half a dozen emails that I have been neglecting for days, and I am creating a fantastic play list for my road trip this week. 

As I have sat here downloading the latest and greatest songs from iTunes, I have recognized one person that has walked by and another who drove by. I had to giggle because I have been here for years, and am now just feeling like this small town, is my small town. I have habits and routines here. 

A man just walked by the shop that I think could be a spitting image of my grandfather. I wait eagerly to see if the next person that walks by will be my father, who now lives down the road from here. 

I have a lot of things going on right now in life- many balls up in the air, and I'd like to think that I'm getting better about juggling them all. Right now, I am having a small moment in this grand life that eases any anxiety that is rising to the surface as I continue to make choices and pursue opportunities. 

I am thankful for this moment... this small, completing moment that I am able to enjoy from the comfort of my favorite table at the Coffee Shop. 

Brave

"It's Not Brave If You're Not Scared"

Bravery is the theme right now. The other week I was watching a movie and heard the quote from above. The movie was mediocre, I had seen it before- but the line struck a cord and I thought yes, its isn't brave if you aren't scared. A friend of mine recently posted a very short blog entry with the same running thought, about the brave little toaster. I got a letter in the mail from a friend telling me how they were praying for me, and they also used the word Brave- that I would be brave in patience and indecision. Finally, after having a conversation sorting some things out with a friend, I got a returned phone call. In a light fashion I was asked "Are you brave?", before they went on to tell me the purpose of the call.

I mention these things not to exclaim that I am brave in any capacity. It is not a trait I see in myself easily, and I feel like I am in a place right now where I can either operate in either fear and anxiety or that of trust and bravery. When I am completely honest with myself about how I'm doing right now, I can sense that I feel stronger, I feel more controlled, less manic... I feel very much like me. Unfortunately, at the same time I feel tired, I feel defeated, and I feel like moving on. I feel like my patience is small with some people, and I feel like I'm losing my mind a little bit. I have been more absentminded and just completely aloof recently then I know how to handle. It has been sort of funny, I have made myself and others laugh quite a bit... but seriously, what is going on?

I have random fears these days.

-I am scared that I will take the wrong job in the wrong place.
-I am scared that I will not be able to leave my house.
-I am scared that I am not listening to Christ enough, and responding to what has been so heavy on my heart.
-I am scared that I will never learn the balance of being busy and still.
-I am fear that I am not investing in the right people.
-I fear change even though I sense I am strangely addicted to it. Does that even make sense?
-I fear car accidents, and dying in one. I have always been fearful of this notion- its random but true.
-I fear that everything I want in my life is just waiting on me to change in ways that are impossible.
-I fear making plans, and setting dates and times for things because I know that I change my mind so much.
-I fear that I will never be as forgiving as I'm called to be, and the burden that places on my heart is enormous.
-I fear picking out the wrong shoes for the day, because I absolutely hate having uncomfortable footwear on.
-I fear being arrested for something... even though I do not break the law.
-I fear my computer crashing and losing things that I have neglected to back up.

Random. Some that are completely ridiculous and even make me laugh in some ways... others are just where I'm at, and what I'm fighting through! True, its not brave if you're not scared. Ever wonder if we are just always going to be scared in some capacity? How is that I can trust the God of the universe with such large things, but then have fears about car crashes, jail time, and computers?

Seriously. What is going on?

July 2003

Recently I was invited to attend my friend Kristin's wedding in Annapolis. Kristin and I met in the summer of 2003 in the beloved month of July at Rockbridge when we were on Summer Staff together. Kristin, Jessica, and I shared a room for the four weeks and at most times were in a complete fit of giggles- to prove it, Jessica has most of it documented on her video camera. Last summer the three of us met up for a girls trip in Vegas, and the laughter continued! I was amazed then, much like I am now the way some friends are placed in our lives. Three of us, whom have never lived in the same town, gone to the same school, or been active in each others lives in an every day sense have maintained special friendships with each other in the past five years. Kristin and I don't keep in touch regularly, but I do appreciate notes I get in the mail and random emails catching up on life. Distance is hard to fight in friendships, and sometimes I worry about what is going to happen with those I am closest to right now when the time comes for one or both of us to move away.

Having had more then one Summer Staff experience, its easy to want to compare them to eachother, and pick favorites. Truth of the matter is, the month of July that summer has made a significant impact on my life in more ways then just one. It was when I moved to Virginia not having much of a plan leaving Connecticut, was my introduction to Rockbridge, and it is where I consequently made my home for four years on Staff- having fallen in love with Property Staff while in the Bakery. This has since happened to three other former Bakery Summer Staffers since my month in '03. It is a magical place. Hah.

In all seriousness, when I think of people that I share my life with, people that I am honest, vulnerable, and truly myself around a few very special ones come to mind. Among them are, Matty, Jules, and Jessica. All three people that I see on a regular basis (even with the five hour drive between the girls and I), and have consistantly known through the years. When Matt and I went to Julie's wedding two years ago we were both so grateful for the way our lives were woven together, and how the Lord blessed us continuing friendships in the distance. Jessica and I felt very much the same way this past weekend at Kristin's wedding. I can't imagine my life without the support of these three friends, and I can't believe it has been five years since we were serving along side each other at camp for a month. My friendships with Matt and Julie did not form closely out of those weeks together, but in the time after with a road trip to visit KY with Matt, and then with weekends at camp when Matt would work in the Kitchen.

I find myself today still thankful for the weekend in Annapolis and to be part of such an important day in Kristin's life, along side Jessica whom I treasure. Returning home, we stopped at the Waffle House and met up with Tex and Matty. There was a moment in the midst of catching up about the weekend Jessica and I spent away, that I just felt my heart swell. Four people sat at that table. Three people I did not know before I moved to Virginia, two of which were part of the beginning of that journey for me. The other while did not know Jessica in college, both attended UK and are from the same area I frequently visit. The strange circle and coincidences captivated my heart and for that moment I was only thankful for the decision five years ago to quit a job, not have a plan, move somewhere I didn't know, trust the Lord completely, and see what happened.

Sound familiar?

House Dinner Returns

Ok... friends. House Dinner has returned for the School Season.... let's have a moment for the joy that means in my life. Tuesday's now trump most other days of the week.

House Dinner. I have written about them countless times, and most people in my life know that its my favorite thing about my community here in Lexington. It all started a little over two years ago, during the Summer of 2006. About half way through the summer of interning, Mandy (Baker), Theresa (Office), Jamie (Landscape), were all desiring food off of camp and hang out time at the fabulous White Oak Lane. In the beginning, they cooked at my house, I just got to show up. In the mix Matty got invited, and it turned into a fairly regular shin dig with us for the second half of that summer. I was going through photos on my computer the other day and it was fun to see the file with "Dinner Club" on there. My friendships with Jamie and Theresa really sprung out of those nights, and built what is now a continued fantastic friendships. Mandy and I had already established closeness, and so the time to hang out was just bonus!

The following winter when Theresa moved down to Lexington from Ohio, she, Jen, and I thought that it would be a great thing to have dinner at the house once a week. The first night we were set to do this, Holmes got in on it. The intention was for it to be small. A week or two later I made my favorite "Capt. Crunch Chicken", and so Joel and Matty got invited as well. That was it. We continued that way for the rest of the school season up until summer as the 6 of us.

House Dinner changed again this past year as Jen moved to the Tot, Mandy moved in, Guthrie moved to town, and Tex moved into the boys house. The table got stretched to accommodate 8, and then we made it 9 with Katie Shepard. In all my traveling and coming and going, I hinged a lot of my plans on Wednesday-Mondays, so that I could be home on Tuesday's to see everyone. I think that was the piece I could never let go of completely.

This year, more changes and more people. We are now broken into houses, and we will alternate whose home we are in each Tuesday, and those that live there will come together to make the meal... for a total of TWELVE.

Last night after two committee meetings I hurried myself over to The Boys House so that I could enjoy the rest of the evening with everyone. As I walked into their house I could only be thankful for the laughter I heard abounding from the dining room. The sound was familiar... the sound in of itself was a feeling of complete warmth... it was Home.

What started small with a few friends sharing an evening to cook and laugh together two years ago, has turned into something that I can't imagine my life without. Having left Property Staff, I don't see them all very often, so I love the time to enjoy them without work- to see them as themselves and not the roles they play at camp in the day to day.

I'm blessed tremendously by their friendships, but also by the night once a week we all put aside to share, to eat, to laugh, and to be with each other with no other reason then to enjoy the community we have.

I love Tuesday's. It's better then... just about everything.

Sweet and Sour

"Your words are like weapons" -darren hayes

So. It's been a week, and I find myself in the Fairfield branch with not much to keep me occupied. My mind is running with things that I thought about last night before I eventually fell asleep, and awoke to them all over again in the morning hours of getting ready for work. I am wondering at this point how to turn them off, how to silent the machine inside that is screaming.

Sweet and Sour.
The Roles that we play.
Words that are funny.
Words that aren't.
When is enough, enough?

These are the random things that have been floating through my head recently. Last night there were exchanges of humor between a good friend and myself, mostly poking at my ridiculous scatter brained nature, which friends, I completely agree with: I lost my head a little bit. But when the fun and games turn into more of pointed jabs about things that are known to drive me crazy, what is to blame for the hurt feelings? My ears which heard jokes and got mad? Or the mouth that spoke them knowing full well they weren't going to be received well, but spoke them anyway?

Who is to blame?

The roles we play. I have been noticing the trends continue in my relationships. The pattern is similar, I am the younger sister that gets poked at and pushed much harder then realized. A moment later, I am the older sister that is pursued for conversation and insight... I challenge and I ask questions. One is very sour, and the other is very sweet. Sometimes I can effortlessly transition from one role to the other, but there are times when I just want to call a time out and say "CAN I PLEASE JUST REMAIN IN THE MIDDLE?". Truth is, I love my friends. I love that I can laugh with them, joke with them, encourage and pray for them. I cannot tell of my gratitude for the ways I know they serve me well and encourage me closer to Christ.

Which makes me feel kind of like an abused spouse. I equate and justify the sometimes obnoxious harassment with memories of complete and total love. My epiphany is not that this is happening, my moment is that I'm tired, and its exhausting. I'm tired of being told I'm too sensitive, or that I'm not any fun when I don't give the reaction someone was going for. I think I finally was able to see that in being quiet, I was operating in absolute fear. I started becoming afraid that if I swung back with the jokes and pokes I was receiving the cycle would not end, and that I wouldn't be able to handle what I heard back. So instead, I have found myself more quiet and trying to assert "this is ridiculous".

I do jab. I do poke fun. I am not without blame for jokes... but there is this gray area when hanging out sometimes. It's all fun and games for a good while, everyone is having a fabulous time- but then there are key jabs made that are out of a small handful of things that are known to drive me crazy... and the fun is over. I'm done.

Sweet and Sour. I know that our lives are like a tapestry being woven by the Creator. I know that the thread that holds it all together is divinely placed and chosen by the one who knows the bigger picture. The tapestry of this year has been intricate and delicate.

I have known great love this year.
I have been broken and picked up.
I have been pushed and guided.
I have been reminded my value is in Christ and not thoughts of man.
I have seen great distances from those I love, and I have been welcomed home.
There has been a lot of Sweet... I suppose in some ways I have been spoiled.
Do we appreciate it more because we have the Sour too?

I am calling a Time Out, because I fear that the thread of the friendships that have been operating in jokes and banter is causing the tapestry to unravel, and I just can't imagine my life without the Sweet they provide. Words are like weapons. They do wound sometimes. But they can heal. I think I finally started speaking the words that matter- the ones from the heart that want better, and is tired of the current status quo.

Growth to follow? We shall see.

Full Circle

This past weekend we traveled in an odd shaped circle accomplishing many fun things. To be honest, Sunday afternoon was the hardest part of the four day trip as I desperately wanted out of the car to walk around or to do something more fun. But with the several stops for gas, beverages, and lunch we finally reached our destination at around 4pm on Sunday: Weaverville, land of great friends, amazing food, and one of my most beloved cities: Asheville.

Perhaps easing into the long weekend was harder then I anticipated, I had some homeowner issues to take care of hours before leaving for Washington, NC for David Carter's wedding on Saturday. I was thankful that the night before I had put all my stuff together, and was able to share a really great meal and night with Betty Cabell whom spent the night. I enjoy her friendship tremendously. We talked a bit, laughed a bit, mutually understood that we had to get dessert after an already filling and delicious dinner... it was fantastic. In the morning I felt a bit rushed and stressed with having to communicate a course of action with my neighbor about the water issue our neighborhood was experiencing. When I finally made it to the boys house after dropping Gracie off at the Vet for her four day vacation, and swinging by T's car to let her borrow my iPod transmitter, I felt stressed. Much like when I met them there to go set up Jen's wedding, I felt frazzled and all over the place. How do I calm myself down? I sit at their dining room table, and I paint my nails. The energy to focus on something small and simple is enough to bring me down from manic thoughts. What is also great about this, is that the boys leave me completely alone during this process.

In a round about sort of way we headed to Washington County, by going North towards Charlottesville picking up Katie Andree, and then heading the rest of the way East on 64. Radio songs, fun stories, giggle fests, and quiet moments peppered the hours in the car to our final destination. The wedding was beautiful, and it was fun to be in a much more relaxed setting. It was touching to see the Father of the Bride so emotional in giving his daughter away, and to also see the most gleaming faces of joy in DC and Hayden. The after party in the camper with the Danners was hysterical, and it was a great way to unwind after the busy day.

Moving along to Windy Gap on Sunday I found my excitement continue to rise as we got closer.I love visiting there, and the joy of staying with Chris and Caroline is always a highlight. A couple of years ago after many visits of my own, Matty started being part of the weekend quick trips down 81, and this time it was fun to share our love for the area with Tex. Enjoying local restaurants was a highlight, and spending the day at the Biltmore House for my second visit was also a treat. We all had fun, played Blackjack, learned some great things from a 'pro', and was able to visit with those I love.

I have three sets of community that I love. One in Lexington, VA, the second in Asheville, NC, and the third in Lexington, KY. My love for these three places on the map is varied as my relationships are all different, but the way that I feel when I am in each place is consistent. I feel like myself. I feel inspired. I feel well loved. I feel centered. Leaving either of the out of state cities I can sense my heart hurt and pulled to stay longer... to stay forever. How do you balance in your heart the notion of complete trust that you are where you are supposed to be, with the emotional stirrings and pains that being somewhere else rustle up?

Circles. I go round and round again about the future, and whats next. Every time my phone rings and the caller ID shows a number I don't know, I get nervous that is is one of many possible employers calling about a resume I submitted in haste during a time I was freaking out. The circle of this weekend was a good one. I wrote last week that I caught a glimpse of myself that I had been missing- I was able to clearly see the glimpse of self come into focus and continue to seem more permanent, and then in other moments of frustration or sensitivity that I would lose that sense of self again. How can I be better about holding onto the truth when my spirit is so tired? How can I give my heart a break? A true rest?

I know that the rest cannot happen in any other facility then my current home, and in my current place. I can not seek it in the Asheville's, or the KY Lexington's. I need to be able to establish a routine in my life here that allows challenge, purpose, and rest to happen without fighting the desire to peace out of town for two days every few weeks. That process continues. It helps in being honest, it helps in being open... it helps in being busy in productive ways that matter- and not just filling time with idle pleasures.

I am glad to be home. I leave tomorrow for a wedding in Baltimore... I have myself booked up every night until next Thursday. Rest? It will come. This weekend helped. The glimpse? I saw her today... and that brings my heart more joy then I could ever write here alone.