The Well Feels Empty

The Well Feels Empty.

I know that this is not exactly true. I know that I feel nurtured and encouraged. But there have been times in the past few weeks that I have felt dry, sad, over stimulated, and just plain old tired. Perhaps it is the "end of summer bug". You know the one, you relax into the warmer weather, and the more carefree schedule and then plummet back into responsibility, commitments, appointments, agenda's, and purposes. School begins with the buses, and all those things that took a short summer recess are back.

The manic pace I kept in August was full of great things, and as I look back on visitors, girl trips, wedding joys, and wedding fiasco's, I am so thankful that I felt so surrounded in friendship. It seemed unusual at the time to be operating in a euphoric state of love and appreciation. I knew that I was on a mountain top. I knew that real life is in the Valley, and that I would be making my way back down there again.

I went to Bible Study last night and felt encouraged seeing ladies there that I had met in the Early Spring, and was still forming relationships with when I started by job at the Bank and then was a little too busy to commit. I left looking forward to the fall and learning about the Life of Moses. Yet, in a split of a mood, I was dreading having something on my calender that I would HAVE to do. A commitment that I would have to abide by. Even though the rewards of the work are beneficial, I just prayed that the Lord would silence the cynicism I was sensing move toward the surface.

I was told recently by my beloved girls in Kentucky after they learned a little more about my passions, that I was one "that walked in the Light". I didn't understand the definition of this attribute immediately. However, through the course of the days we spent together, I listened to them point out things that I had a natural skill and sense of... things that seemed completely normal to me in my every day life, that were actually not quite so ordinary... the Lord has blessed me immensely with gifts that I have too long taken for granted, or not quite believed in enough.

As I work towards not feeling the drought so much, in what is just a transitional time, I seek to find refreshment in understanding what direction I should be moving in with those parts of my heart that have been referred to having been of "the light". The well feels empty. It isn't. I know that I am just trying to get my bearings down here in the Valley, and that the next mountain peak experience is just around the corner. I could spend endless hours a day trying to figure out when, or guess what it will contain... but I know that those are just idle distractions from what I could be learning in the right now. Patience. Pursuit. Submission. The three things I continue to struggle with time and time again, perhaps now in this particular place and after the experiences I had in August I will sense the water change from the slow piddly stream into an all encompassing wave and current.

It feels empty. But because of Christ, I can see that it is not.