The House Sits

After two and a half years, and four roommates later, the house sits empty. Each have gone off to do great things, and be in great places. One is now married, one is in town, and one is moving back to be with the loves of her life. 

The house now sits quiet. I am sitting on the couch watching a tivo'd concert on TV, Gracie is sleeping in her 'new room', she had adopted the guest room as her own. This morning Mandy rolled out at 7am after watching The Hills to wake her up before the drive. I was exhausted, and gave her a hug, and watched her go. Not a tear was dropped between us, but when I did return to the warmth of my bed and snuggling with Gracie my heart hurt. 

The journey of this house has been such a reflection of my own personal growth since my name went on the papers to make me financially responsible. I think of the many conversations that took place standing in the bathroom, sitting on the couch, relaxing on the deck... or just sitting on the floor in each other's rooms. The furniture has been moved a dozen times, and the flow of people continued on a regular pace. The dinners. The laughs. The tears... there were surely many tears that flowed. Mandy shared with me her vision of the legacy of this house at Jen's wedding, and when I think of the love she conveyed in her point of view, I realized that my greatest prayer and desire was answered... that this house would be more then four walls. It would be a place to bring hearts to life, and where Christ would be glorified. 

I am thankful that I have this place and that the fridge is covered with photos of those that I love. The time spent with the girls has been an amazing journey and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And while I know that I am thrilled that I am in the house solo now, I can't help but wonder for how long. My heart continues to feel that I am supposed to be here right now. I was asked recently, "So anywhere specifically that you feel you might go?". I said No. I was almost angry at the question. I almost smacked the person who asked me. They of course had no idea my violent internal reaction. It is almost comical now as I reflect on the past, and how it will continue to shape my vision of the future.

The House sits quiet. But it won't remain that way for long. There will be guests, dinners, and friends to play with. My heart hurts because Mandy is gone. Although, I feel much like an older sister who worked with her in prayer through this entire year to get her through it, and enjoy the highs and lows. Watching her drive away this morning I knew that my job was done. We had the year to celebrate friendship, and honesty. In some ways I could let go worrying for her, and for that my heart was still and peaceful.