I left at 5pm, after what I will admit was an frustrating day. Last day's aren't typically like that. Well, at least they aren't supposed to be anyway. You are supposed to breeze through, remain unaffected by things that usually bother you, make jokes, connect on a sappy level with your staff... the usual. I began to uncover and see aspects of the direction everything was going in, and I was frustrated. I could hear myself getting yelled at by people who love me, telling me to let it go, but when you care about people, and truly connect with your staff, you want more then anything to believe that in your absence that things are still going to be good. That your replacement would be great, that everything would be ok. However, the rising frustration to the lack of tack, attention to detail, and the emotional outbursts by new management has left the staff feeling discouraged, scared, frustrated, and just sad. I left people I have fought against, for, and then finally, with, in a place that is just difficult.
But I am out.
Tomorrow I am driving to Winston-Salem for a few days to meet and greet, find a place to live, and just check out the scene. I think its funny that I have eaten at Chipotle down the street from the job I was just offered. A few years ago on a road trip between Washington, NC and Asheville- Tex, Matty, and I stopped there.
Speaking of Matty. He's a good man. Any of you single girls out there-- he's the best. I had breakfast with him on Friday, and it was seriously the first time in ages we'd sat down for a chat. There was lots of discuss, and while I am confident in our friendship in a move, I admit that knowing he is down the street has brought such a huge level of comfort, and I will miss that. We are very different on emotional landscapes, and I think sometimes we can frustrate each other in that place. Yet, what I remembered, saw, touched, and knew on Friday at breakfast was that in my life there are people who champion for you- and help create a safety net. Dating as far back as losing Bill in 2005, to roommate drama, speculation, break ups, and returns, Matt has offered his guidance, protection, and dedication to privacy with grace and love... endlessly. Great. Man. Best. Friend. Family. I just love him.
I am waiting on final plans for the day. Kristyn is back from her grandparents, and we have planned to go down to the lake with JJ. The weather looks over cast and mostly gross, so I think a day of fun is in the works with JJ. We shall see what awaits.
One thing, well many things, weigh heavily on my heart and mind. Just a really weird, hard, but refreshed place. I can't quite believe dB is done, and I think I'm excited for the full reality that, I have finished that race, I completed that call, and its time to move on. Thankful that I also did it with excellence, empathy, and integrity. I am really proud of those things most.
My life. Slowly returns. I think I'm just kind of scared about what is next. Not kind of. Completely.
Which is good.
Means I am processing this correctly.
Ha.
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