I was looking at someone's page, I can't even remember now who it was and to the left I had a mutual friend in common with the person I was stalking. Without thinking I clicked on the picture and then I realized that Suzie Frank, my dear friend is gone.
I had followed Suzie's battle in illness for a couple of years. I remember getting an email forwarded to me through the Ridgefield Emmaus grapevine about a fundraising effort by her daughter Lisa, for the Leukemia Walk in San Francisco. I did not hesitate, I went to the website and donated what I knew I could and that was it. A few days later I got an email from Mike Frank, Suzie's husband/Lisa's dad. My relationship with Mike was a special one in my High School years and we were able to reconnect and sort of catch up the best way you can without sitting in front of each other with a cup of coffee.
My freshman year of High School I was a new Christian in a whole new swimming pool of peers. The Franks were my Sunday School teachers, and were close to my parents as they worked on Emmaus weekends together, and so having them on the same team that Fall meant the Franks were at my house every Wednesday night. I got to chat with them before the meeting, and was invited to sit in on one meeting in particular to hear Mike share his testimony. I was honored, it was a special consideration made per his request.
A few months later Mike took a job traveling extensively for his job. He wrote me postcards. This theme has been woven so beautifully in my life. Suzie and I would talk and meet often, and in her I found an older wise woman in whom I could confide and grow with. When my parents split up I remember feeling shame and embarrassment, I knew it was not my fault or responsibility, but the image of a whole family was a hard one to let go of. I kept to myself about my pain and the circumstances. While I have a few letters from her, I received a letter from Suzie at the most perfect time. It was short and to the point. I cried. I have kept that letter in my stack of prized possessions for 13 years. It speaks the truth. And the truth of which never changes.
The Frank's moved away when I was still in High School and so the relationship faded per consequence of time, but the footprint was still palpable. I thought of them both often, and cherished the memories of conversation, dinner, and the pursuit they both had to make sure that I was ok after my family broke up. In them I found wisdom, and I respected deeply their love for each other. Perhaps that is where my hope to one day marry my best friend began, they... were marvelous.
When I got the message that Suzie had passed away I was deeply saddened but also quite relieved her time of suffering had ended. She was courageous in her battle, and she was... just remarkable. I remember the day well. I was on my way from Indianapolis to Mason, and I was quiet the entire car ride. I remember talking to Tex that night on the phone and I remember saying out loud that I was sad about Suzie passing, but I did not elaborate. I was silent as tears streamed down my cheeks and then I went to sleep. I may not have been close to Suzie in recent years, but the impression and impact she made on my life during those 4 years of chaos has never truly left me. She stepped up to the plate when I needed a mother figure, and she loved me in ways I have yet to experience the same way.
I can't believe that it is now July 19th and I am writing about this for the first time. I think this was one of many things that I swept under the carpet in May hoping to get to those feelings on a rainy day, but the rainy day never came.
I went to her page on Facebook today not even registering that I knew that she had passed away 2 1/2 months ago. I loved being able to read messages of friendship and love left by many people that I knew growing up. One included my Mom appreciating her life, but also thanking her for loving her children. The message struck me, and well that is a whole different story.
The Lord has blessed me with women that have loved and nurtured me for years. Many of them have taken the role of sister, friend, but a select few have come along side me and loved me like their own. I learned young that while we are not able to choose our siblings, and parents- we are given a divine opportunity in Christ to extend what our family tree looks like, and in this case I was one lucky girl to have loved and been loved by such a remarkable woman.
I have her letters. And I know that the contents of which are still true. I'm thankful that today, in this moment I can read them and be thankful for the growth over time, but also for the roots and seeds she planted all those years ago that I am now returning back too. The journey continues, I am on the road. It's been an intense summer, the rainy day never came but today I was able to click a face and visit a friend... and I remembered and in her memory I found joy. But also... peace.
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