House

I am having one of those nights that I simply love my house. I woke up this morning and went on a super cleaning/organizational rampage through each and every room seeking to complete the project of the carpet installation. I left for the garbage run, grabbed a Diet Coke at McD's along with a small fry, and headed out to camp to see Jamie in the kitchen who called to say he was out there doing work crew. We chatted it up while he cleaned out the fryer, and I love that in the midst of the kitchen with people bustling around, he gets straight to business and tells me exactly what is going on in his life, in real depth none of this surfacey "I'm good" stuff. I think this is one of my most favorite things about my friendship with Jamie, he's always honest, he's always real, and he's never afraid to tell me exactly what is going on. 

He left to hang out with some guys that he brought with him, and I spent some time talking and hanging out in the kitchen. An hour or so later... well two hours later I got into my car to finish the errands of the day and to head back to the house. When I got home I put groceries away and worked a little more on laundry, vacuuming, and general things. Nothing glitzy or glamorous. The iPod was blaring, the windows were all open, I put the Bistro lights on outside and it just felt good to be home. I have the house to myself for a few more weeks before Melanie and Sadie move in. I'm excited about having a new roommate, and puppy in the house, there is no hesitation. From the very moment Melanie told me she was offered a job, I enthusiastically replied "you are moving in!!". That time is almost here, and while I am excited, I am also enjoying the little bit of time I have left without the consideration of messy dishes, stereo volume, or coordinating a house social calender. 

I began this school season with Mandy and Theresa both moving out, and I adjusted to what that meant and looked like fairly easily... nothing else in my life was particularly easy this fall, but living here on my own brought comfort and I enjoyed it. The Lord has blessed me in abundance. Complete and total overwhelming abundance. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my head with thoughts of control that lead me emotionally out of control, that I forget to simply pause and say thanks to the Savior for all that I have. My grateful heart tends to gravitate more towards things of emotion, having gotten through something difficult, a relationship on track, or in anticipating the perfect plans he has for my future. I don't often pause and simply bask in the goodness of a home that I feel safe in. I feel protected, sheltered, comfortable, and safe in my own skin. On this night, with the rain having stopped and the house fan moving cool air through each room I am struck by the goodness of this time and experience of my life. One day in the future my home will no longer be just mine, but that of my family. I will have little people crawling at my feet begging for attention, and a spouse to attend to with tender care and affection. Home will mean something completely different and wonderful. There are moments when I have a strong desire for that future more then I'm able to appreciate the now. 

This house has been a blessing to me, and to the girls that have lived here. I love them, and I love the honorary roommate we had when three became four with Matty. I love that I am almost 100% finished with my project, that I can sit here in my work room and feel at ease because the clutter and confusion of every last thing I owned is now returned to its rightful place. 

In a few weeks a beloved friend and her puppy will join me here. Home will again look different, and I will be thankful for the amazing ways the Lord loves us and opens our hearts for more on this adventure. But tonight... on this night I seek not the future of next month, or the one that awaits in the wings of an unknown time... right now, right here, I love and am grateful for my place here alone, here on White Oak Lane.