emily & change

I went back to work yesterday after a very beloved and LONG period of time off, and a visit from Emily- whom has been my most treasured and active friend in some very intense seasons of life. She and I go back before Virginia, before Winston-Salem, before time traveling abroad, and before a broken heart. She's been through some tough things with me, and has pushed me so hard and so much towards the Lord. I am learning as I get older, what a rare gift it is to find girlfriends in life that go to war with and for you, and that are there to celebrate too. I have several special girls in my life, but Emily is different. She's in a class all her own. Which reminds me of friends like Jules, Sandy, Kerri, and Barb. Women that speak to me in truth, and allow me the opportunity to see within myself the shifts and maturities progress as I learn more about who God is, and who I am to God. It's amazing to share life with them.

In other news. There is a major shift about to happen in my place of employment. One that has placed a question on the table that has me searching through prayer, time quiet, and seeking the wisdom of people who love me and know me well. Matty and Seth without being on the same continent had very similar statements made, and I'm thankful for a consistency between them. I spent the weekend really sorting through what the implications of changing my mind would mean. I have been able to flesh out my thoughts and talk through what the different options could be, and I have felt loved and safe to change my mind five thousand times in one sentence.

I have talked about living Internationally for years. Literally forever. If I were to move, say, Turkey- no one in my life would be the least bit surprised. Especially in light of my career advancing, and progressing into something truly wonderful in its inclusion of all things that I love.

However. I love. Love. Capitol L love my life in North Carolina. I am digging in, deeper and with more meaning each week- and I'm home here. If I leave for a year, I would be opting out of that, but then also I know that Home is HERE. It's not anywhere else. I'm grateful for that, but my head starts to spin with the realm of possibility and tenderness in my heart as I sense...

That my dreams are changing.

I'm changing.

What a marvelous thing to feel happening, and yet the tailspin of which is scary, foreign, and somewhat uncertain.

Thankful however that things are becoming much more transparent and clear in prayer, and the pursuit of people who are willing to speak truth to me- and love me consistently and without ceasing. Emily's visit was perfect. The contrast between her friendship and others sometimes gets lost in the distance, but when I'm able to look across the table at her, I'm inspired by the women we've been, the places we've lived together, and now apart- and who through it all I know there's not a thing she would do on my behalf in the name of sisterhood and love.

I leaned in close. To not miss it. To listen. To be. Still. With her. It was fantastic.

Then experienced a final day off to run errands on my own, pal around with Gracie, and to prep for my contribution to the pot luck dinner in a place I love so much, and so dearly.

Work began yesterday, and I was thankful to feel truly rested. And begin planning for the next few weeks projects at work, and keep going. Into and for something that I have truly enjoyed.

Last night I sat with a group of people, who for the most part I do not know well. I got to talk to new friends, and connect with friends that I am truly pumped about having in my life in more intentional and deep ways.

I came home and slept.

Dreamed of a place where the two options that lay before me at work were able to merge into one.

I woke up not remembering how it was accomplished, but just that it was.

And continued to un peel the layers to the day, while winding up for a task at hand that begins at 1:30pm.

I don't know yet now what is to come.

But I'm way excited to meet her, as I've gotten glimpses of this changing person with changing dreams- all the while laughing, loving life. right now.