t & co.

7 years ago I bought a silver ring from Tiffany & Co. I had loved it a long time. I wore it everyday. A couple of years later my ring size changed, and this ring would fall off my finger ALL THE TIME. So finally. In 2009 I bought a new ring. A whole size smaller.

In the past 4 months I have, once again gone down a ring size. I had noticed this, and was always mindful of this beloved ring on my finger.

A few weeks ago in the middle of dancing, crazy dancing... this 2nd ring flew off my finger. I was in the middle of disco lights, loud music, people, and I just stood quietly staring at the floor. Alexis looked at me with his inquisitive and concerned eyes, and when I realized that there was no way of finding it, I walked away. I walked off the dance floor. I was quietly devastated.

Having used poor judgement that night, I battled with whether or not I should purchase a new one. I waited. Finally deciding that yes, I was going to replace it I went online to do so. There were no sizes available. I called Tiffany's and spoke to a Sales Rep. Told her my situation, and she did a nationwide inventory search for my ring, in a smaller size. With only a few left in the Country, I was able to call the store in Beverly Hills, and purchased my ring over the phone. I covered all my bases about returning/exchanging if in fact the size smaller would not fit, etc.

A week later UPS arrives, Gracie barks... and I open up the box to find a perfectly tissue wrapped blue box inside. When opening Tiffany's in the past, admittedly its a fairly giddy euphoric feeling. Yesterday it just kind of hurt. I pulled the ring out of the pouch, slipped it on my finger... and winner. The smaller size was perfect. A sigh of relief.

Having packed and compiled a massive stack of garbage bags I went to take the garbage to the dump. After throwing one bag into the canister, I second thought wearing my new replaced, brand new ring and placed it on top of my car. Knowing it was a poor life decision, but was so distracted in my own thought just left it there. I drove away, heard a noise- which triggered the memory that I had in fact left the ring on top of the car. I was already three miles away, had gone about 60 mph. I turned around, went back, and started casing the ground. Thinking and believing it was gone. No way I would find it. I thought quietly to myself that the chances I'd be able to buy another one in an already depleted inventory was going to be near impossible.

As I walked back to my car I saw that there was a branch stuck in my license plate, and then I looked up and saw this...

Can you believe that my ring, in the speed, the driving, the turns, the starts, the stops went down the roof of my car, and nestled itself perfectly into the crevice between my back window and trunk?

Seriously. That is amazing.

Last night someone asked me how I was doing. I shared this story with the preface of, "please don't yell at me about this, but..." Thankfully this person agreed: amazing that I found it. But I think in a larger scope this story reflects more about where I am in my head, and how I am actually doing.

My focus is just out of whack. I'm typically very organized, very on task/point, very very very focused. And by typically, maybe I just mean in my professional life? In the work place I'm completely collected and am able to multi-task seamlessly. I thrive in the chaos, the endless to do list.

However. Right now I just can't. And I need too... because I have made a commitment. A choice. A decision. That I have not once regretted, doubted, or hesitated. The Lord has made is so abundantly clear, and peaceful, that there has not been room to ever pause in a dark or sad moment. The freedom and the ability to rest so much in the plan and future has allowed me the emotional space to really finish up and tie up loose ends that still remain in my heart. Things you are not really aware of in the hustle and bustle of a busy day, week, or life. Being forced to pause, and stop the social calendar enough to put things into boxes- means also, touching the fabric of life. Photographs, letters, postcards, tokens... artifacts of a life lived, experiences and relationships loved.

I lost my ring once, two weeks ago in the midst of a dance floor and party goers. It was not found. And I was incredibly sad.

I lost my ring again, two weeks later in the midst of a busy and racing mind and heart. It was found. And I was incredibly grateful.

I have learned things from both, and while the first time still frustrates me, I'm glad that upon the 2nd I was able to see what I have to do, for my heart, mind, and general health. Sometimes, I am, the last person I will fight for in that way. True.Story.