"As long as I can remember, For all my spirits days, All of my journeys have been roads home to You."

11.09.2009

Remembered Images

It's November and I am wrapping up my week through Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana. I wish I could break down how marvelous it has been seeing Jessica, Mandy, Kerri, Emily, Julie, and Holly. I mean seriously, look at that roundup. Some of my favorite women of all time all snuggled together in a week of love, support, and perpetual birthday celebration. However, I didn't take a single picture this week. Which I think is in part because when visiting I get distracted in chatter, meaningful conversations, and giggle fits... but what is strange is that at some point in each goodbye I thought, "you should grab a picture"- but then never did. So unfortunately no ridiculous Facebook photos to upload documenting the shenanigans of the week, but in typical fashion when I recall each day, I remember very particular scenes in my head. Here is my run down of week.

Saturday: Met Bill and Jessica for dinner in Lexington, Ky. Stop number one. I keep laughing when Bill asks me my opinion of him, to which I respond, "you are nice... but no one is ever going to be good enough for Jessica in my opinion." (laughter followed to ease my outspoken statement). The look on my dear friends face was not of panic, or "seriously, Kari."... but there was this wave over her face where she knew that I meant it, and she knew it was true. She is a divine woman, and well the man that scores a forever with her is one lucky man.

Sunday: In my heart there are two images that still my thoughts. First, I got a phone call in the morning with news, and I knew that no matter what my efforts, or words offered, that I could not fix it. And then off course Sunday evening I said goodbye to Andrew before his road trip move to Oregon. There are many things that come to mind when I replay that conversation, but one particular moment after I had left the house is my favorite. I pulled into the parking lot that the 17 foot Uhaul was spending its time parked, and stood beside it. The night was perfectly still, clear, and a full moon appropriately governed the sky. I wrote little post-it notes for the window, how I love post it notes... but after I was done I stood in the midst of my tears and I prayed. For awhile. When I drove away I looked back half expecting Tex to be standing there, but thankfully he wasn't and instead I saw the truck illuminated in the glow from the full moon, and I went on my way. I will never forget the way that moment felt, and how bright and beautiful that sky was. Never.

Monday: Kerri Fowler now Kerri Tank. A day of shopping, coffee, Target, Old Navy, meaningful conversation, and just quiet moments knowing I was completely understood. But hands down favorite snapshot, learning the meaning of ridiculous rap lyrics on urban dictionary and trying to not die of laughter. My brother would be proud of my expanded knowledge of inappropriate things.

Tuesday: Emily. Starbucks marathon conversation- but the look on her face as she choose her words wisely to protect me but love and challenge me at the same time. It was beautiful, and I felt loved and intimately known. It was worth the drive to spend time with someone in which their love and hope was so palpable and encouraged me to continue to be open and wait. L.O.V.E.D. her beautiful face and the way she spoke to me.

Wednesday: Birthday. While I felt loved in many aspects, and in many moments it would be ridiculous to pick one. So it was my birthday so please indulge me with a short little list in this longer list:
a) 7am fuzzy socks and card. I remember Mandy asking me if I was going to stay awake, and I stood there knowing what was in her hand and saying "yes, I want it", and I remember her smile.
b) spa. In the midst of the wonderful hot stone massage, there was a point in the beginning when I remember opening my eyes, looking at the ceiling and thinking quietly to myself, "breathe. let it go". And every last worry, thought, frustration, and emotion found its way out of my heart and I was able to relax for the first time, truly, in what felt like an eternity.
c) catching up with all my text messages/phone calls after the spa. I was sitting in my car and noticed the times on one of them and deeply smiled when I saw how the birthday hour and minute was remembered- and how the three most important people in my life all called me within 45 minutes of each other, and before the morning was even over. I saw my smile in the window reflection, and it was dazzled.
d) shopping with Mandy and encouraging her to get the hat. The look on her face was priceless, "really!?!?" yes. get the hat. really.

Thursday: a day alone capped off with Dave Barnes. In the car afterwards eating frozen yogurt, and listening to a song that summed up my life at the moment, and Mandy's giggle.

Friday: getting coffee and munchkins and sitting in my car talking to Andrew on the phone. Staring at the same hours sign on the Dunkin Donuts window, which said "open 24-hours" but still listed all the hours on the window decal for each day, I thought it was kind of redundant.

Saturday: the joy of Hobby Lobby with Jules... endlessly walking through each and every aisle becoming more and more creatively overwhelmed.

Sunday: our waiter at dinner. Holly's face when she realized the guy behind me heard her say "shut up"... laughing so hard and so much... loving life in the company of her.

So far its been fabulous. I head back to VA tomorrow and will be greeted by my wonderful puppy. I pray that I'm able to focus and get cracking on some projects that I've had the time this week to expand in my head, and pursue the best ways to execute them. I feel fairly inspired, and I feel excited about what I hope to accomplish. However, I am anxious and nervous about walking into my house and snuggling with Gracie and having for the first time the presence of being home in Lexington sink in, Andrew Piper moved... away... and how everything at first will fall short in the void left. So I pray to be open to what will come, and I pray to be open in the company of those that I know seek to love me well... and I countdown. Yes, I countdown to the not quickly enough approaching Christmas Holiday in which I will be in the company of my best friend again, in person.

Thank you all for the texts, calls, and birthday messages. You are part of what I loved most about this week away- and in my heart I can see and remember those moments that there was not a picture taken to capture it tangibly... but will continue to live on.

Love.Love.




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