Oh Ridgefield

I suppose there is no other way to express my time in Ridgefield other then sitting back and releasing a sigh of breath while saying "oh...Ridgefield". The random people I saw, the conversations that I had with folks, the reunions of sorts with friends I have not seen in years, and the general feeling of comfort while in the place I spent so much of my life can only be described with such a sigh. Also, a sigh for the weather. It snowed on Friday. Ridiculous.

As I heard the latest about folks I grew up with I could not help but wonder what my life would look like if I still lived in Ridgefield. So many old classmates have since returned to our hometown and are creating new lives there, with new friends...and its strange to see the couples that have formed in the years since High School and who have started creating families together. I'm sure if asked back in 1999 who would be with who, who would have married who, who would live where, etc I would not be very successful in my predictions. It would be my hope however that everyone was happy and continued to find their purpose, and I'd like to believe that such hope is true.

In addition to mini-reunions I was also there for a specific reason, and that was to attend the funeral of Lew Rumpf, father of my long time friend Jim. The services were at First Congo, the church my parents were married in, and the church I was confirmed in when I was in the 8th grade. I participated in many Emmaus Closing's there, and the sanctuary holds a special place in my heart. As I sat in the pew during the service while listening to all the thoughtful words and the meaningful message during the Homily, my mind was racing thinking about my experience in the church during my time in Ridgefield. I thought manically and randomly of where one day I'd like to be married, where my parents would like to be put to rest when they pass away, where my future children will attend Sunday School, and then back to Lew and how he lived this very big life that I learned much more about in memoriam, and how I wished to live as boldly and with such an appetite for adventure as he. Lew passed away at 58 years old, and perhaps in light of my recent birthday I began to think of all that I wished to accomplish in the next 30 plus years, and honestly I wondered, "Is that enough time?"....

Oh Kari. Yes, you are obsessed with time... I worry about being late, being early, running out of it, having too much of it, I can't help wondering about the concept of time and what I can personally do to change it. When will I ever learn that I have absolutely no control over any segment of time? And the only way to really conquer this control issue is to just completely let it go? There are periods in my life when I am most sensitive to this particular issue and I can only describe it by saying that death, birthdays, and milestones spur this on more. I am deeply moved by "endings", like the end of a television series that I have loved, or someone moving away to conquer new dreams, or from movies and books that remind me of something I have experienced in the past.

Having been home I have sensed my thought process to be along the lines of time and what is happening in my life on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. I have been able to see growth in my walk with the Lord, and in self awareness which is always encouraging...and in the next instant I can feel my anxiety about the future and what that means beyond next February. I had so many questions come my way about what I'm up to these days, where I'm living, and how I am doing that I tried to get it all down to a sentence or two or just be as evasive as possible to avoid further questioning! "I'm in Virginia, no not in DC, a few hours south of there, I worked on Young Life staff, yes I still love Jesus, I am happy, I want my own store I'm praying on that. Thanks great seeing you too." Hah, its been interesting.

Tomorrow I plan to rise at my usual time, and head into NYC. I have no particular plan in motion other than that, I just feel the need to smell, see, and just be in NY. I will probably spend some time scoping out a museum, grab lunch, shop a little bit and then return to my dad's house. I will get some good sleep tomorrow so that I can be alert and ready to ride back to Virginia on Tuesday. I have loved being in Hamden, and Ridgefield but honestly? This afternoon I wished for nothing else then to click my heels and magically arrive at my house in Lexington. What a comforting feeling that brought to my heart, to still want at the end of the day to be in my home and with my friends there. The ideas and thoughts of moving, and working outside my current 24450 zip code have left for a lot of day dreaming and praying...and sometimes I get really nervous when I feel comfortable and inspired being somewhere else, that I get excited and anxious all at the same time...but in the next moment or even sometimes a day later I get that ever present ache in my stomach that says "Bed. Dog. House. Friends. Hammock." and I know that its time to head home.

Oh Ridgefield. How I love your cute little main street, the hot dog stand, Venice pizza, Ballard Park, memories of being a Middle School Terror, and a High School social butterfly. I am thankful I can return to a place that reminds me of where I come from, who I used to be, and can still provide so many laughs with friends I hold so dear when we reunite. Life is sweet in Virginia, but Ridgefield is my hometown- and nothing will ever be able to change what that means to me and how it makes me feel when I am there.