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There have been several drafts of this blog entry written articulated and chatting about life.

But the purpose of this has never been to share the to do list, or the I've done list.

It's been to share my heart.

I have struggled with writing about that here.

My heart has resisted the vulnerability that comes with posting something here that enables someone to stay involved in my life, without the responsibility and intention of pursuing it, themselves.

I think this is the battle that continues to wage back and forth about writing, and why it went private last year in the wake of some specific situations. I am not sure I desire to do that again now, but it has been a consistent thought.

That being said, I will share that...

My heart is good.

I am doing really well.

I am content, happy, challenged, and stretched.

I am sure that this is the time, space, and place for me.

And that, is my heart without much detail. I am off today and have a slurry of things to do, but I am going to attempt to find myself a sandwich shop for lunch so that I can write letters and postcards in the midst of what would otherwise be a filled day of errands and chores.

To whomever is reading this- I wish you the same peace, and the same resolve.

Love.Love.

Kar

snuggle cuddle

This is the only picture I took when Matty was here...

But its ok because I absolutely love, love, love it.

a touch in.

I have gone to write this blog a couple of times this morning. In part to keep my community of support updated, but also to take the break in the chaos of boxes and reflect. This morning it has been harder to articulate where I'm at, and how I'm doing- though I'm doing really well.

Mostly, I just hate training. I am totally a hands on learner: throw me into the scenario and I learn best there. But corporate america says that reading manuals is the most effective way of learning, and so I'm reading, and writing my way through policy and procedure. BUT when I'm able to take a break, and get to meeting our staff I'm happiest.

My boss goes on vacation next week, which means I have up until then to ask any and every question I can possibly imagine before she takes her 9 day trip North. I feel like there's pressure in that situation to know everything before then, and sometimes I sense my controlling side of my brain freak out my more laid back side.

For the most part, just processing through how I feel, what I think, what my hopes are, concerns, questions, and of course comments. I've talked on the phone more this week since leaving then I ever did while traveling- its almost like a heaviness has lifted and the joy in connecting, bantering, and being intentional has returned in a life giving capacity: its wonderful.

arrived.

In a couple of hours I start my new job. I am returning to work exactly one month after I left my previous job, and boy... a lot happened in that month.

I arrived to my new place on Monday evening, and was thankful for the morning having spent some time just hanging out with my dad, and Matty. (If you ever need your car packed... Matt Hypes is your man, he's amazing).

As I left the White Oak Estate, my heart was full of gratitude, peace, hope, and just love. Not a single tear was dropped, which I had feared some sort of emotional implosion on Monday. The only thing I could think about was that, when deeply rooted in purpose, a calling, and conviction- sometimes its not an emotional breakdown. Sometimes, its an emotional elevation of composure. I left so peaceful and rooted in the truth, that I was surprised there were no tears! Not even while listening to the mix Matt snuck in my car!

The moving company was incredible, Ryan even took apart my bed and put it back together again ASAP so I would have a place to sleep. They worked so hard, and for so long- that I often felt badly for unpacking as they were bringing things in. Hands down the best way to move- have someone lift everything for you.

So far, I've made friends with Dave at Best Buy (he's been my favorite), Donna at Costco, Amanda in the property office, and Gracie made friends with Louie the downstairs poodle. I have sensed a calm, and quiet. Sometimes I'm an unpacking maniac, and other times I take a break with chips and salsa on the couch while watching TV. Matt comes on Monday- and I'm excited to discuss decorating options, to go out to eat, and just be with someone I love so much in my new city. Crazy. I live in a city again... I love it.

This morning I woke up at 7:30am without an alarm, grabbed my sneakers and took Gracie to the Greenway which is a paved path along a creek, that is right outside the property limits here. We walked, she barked at people on bicycles, and I thought to myself about the next 2 months- all that it contains (even a trip to Disney World! Wahoo). I thought about friends I knew and loved because I had taken the leap of faith 8 summers ago to move to Lexington. I thought about how many of those friends I met on Summer Staff in 2003 I consider family. I thought about the people I've met and loved so intensely that in distance and circumstance have slipped out of my life a little bit. I thought about all the texts messages, emails, and phone calls I've received from my best friends in this life that have called to celebrate with me this new adventure. The 2 mile walk at points was swift, then just leisure... but my thoughts and thanksgiving to Christ were all at steady pace. There were so many random things to rejoice, and so much to hand over to the Lord in hope for a work continued in me, in this time, season, and new place.

New job. 2 hours. I feel a little bit like a kid starting school in a new place. Really excited to have found my hair dryer after 10 minutes of searching, and my favorite jeans (YES NEW DRESS CODE!!).

Thanks to you- whomever you are. For reading, for thinking, and maybe even praying. I'm not sure who often reads this, but I am always thankful for the comments, emails, and messages regarding whats new here- and with you.

Happy. That the move finally came.

And that this new chapter begins.

Love.Love.

k

captured reflection.

This morning I went to church for the last time as a Virginia resident.

Essen began the worship service announcing that I was moving to North Carolina tomorrow. The tears rose out of a very well protected well of emotional, and they dropped from my eyes. I was able to compose myself the rest of the service, and enjoyed some great conversation with the Daley's long after the sanctuary had emptied. Sometimes the only form of gratitude we can release is found in the profound silence of our tears.

I started going to TAB four years ago with Mandy and Tex, to the Staunton site. After that site became more developed and Rick took over as lead pastor, Tex and I moved to Waynesboro to continue to learn and grow with Essen. Tex and I had a routine on Sunday's of Dunkin Donuts, munchkins, and worship. Of our friendship rooted in Lexington, I think Sunday's were my absolute favorite. There has not been a time since he moved West that I've not looked at the bridge on my way past, or thought of great memories of sharing what we would learn by attending church together.

When I returned from China last year I continued to make my home at TAB, and found great comfort in the friendships I was formulating with Essen, Cathy, and their fantastic kids. Today I left them outside the building in which I had found so much peace, clarity, and growth and I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

This afternoon my mind has thought back to the things I've learned and loved in this time, space, and place. So many of the most meaningful lessons came at the direction and teaching I found at Tabernacle, and I will miss it terribly.

I came home wanting to capture the sunlight before the impending storms to take pictures outside the house for my "I Moved" address change postcard. Gracie circled at my feet, and there are some that she was able to pause before her own chaos to pose with me. But these two speak reflection, and gratitude as I know what I was thinking about as they were captured. It is one of the many ways and reasons I love photographs... the stories they tell-- even if only to the one featured.

DT's with T.

Theresa and I met years and years ago. The concept of House Dinner began the summer she Mandy, and Jamie were interns. We were roommates for awhile, and in many ways she made possible my international and domestic travel schedule by taking care of the White Oak Estate, and Gracie. She's been a true and constant friend. I can count on her to pray for my heart, journey, and concerns. Today we met for lunch with her fabulous sister Kait. The lunch lasted over 3 hours. When leaving DT's we went to capture a picture of us, in our beloved date spot. We took countless trying to find the perfect one, which is out of focus but still classically us.

I didn't want a going away party, or any sort of gathering. What I wanted was meals like lunch today. I wanted the time to be intentional and meaningful. This week has been filled with special and meaningful time with people whom I have loved for a very long time. Tomorrow I spend a day in Roanoke in part running errands with a hair cut (which is funny b/c I hadn't noticed until the photographs below how L O N G it really is), and then my last Sangria Saturday.

Thankful for today. And for all the yesterdays I have been able to call T my friend. She's the best. And I love her dearly.

Fix You.

I have been obsessed with this song this week.

I randomly found this from So You Think You Can Dance.

And I just... melted.

I mean seriously. We've all been there.

Sometimes we are the one who is leading the way, and being strong for someone else.

And then, sometimes we are the one who is carried.

The visual.

Is stunning.